Coping with Loss over Christmas – Dealing with grief can be incredibly difficult, whether the loss was recent, or several years have gone by.

In particular, many people may find that holiday periods, especially those that promote spending time with loved ones, are that much more painful to deal with.

Rather than simply trying to bury your emotions, or isolating yourself this Christmas, you may want to consider some ways that you can cope with your loss, and still enjoy the festive season.

Remember, there isn’t a timeframe on grief. Some might find that a few months down the line they are more able to return to a sense of normality. Others might feel intense emotional pain for years to come. The important thing, however, is that you try not to let your grief rule your life.

Blackpool’s Grand wants to highlight that while merriment may be taking place in the coming months, some people might be dealing with a significant amount of negative emotion. Not only can finding healthy coping mechanisms potentially give you some Christmas spirit, but they might also help you to better protect your mental health, and work through your feelings of grief.

Speak to Those You Trust

Although you may miss the person who is gone, their memory can stay with you. You might find it helpful to talk about that person, and tell engaging stories to friends or family about the days gone by. This could also help you to open up a bit more about how you are feeling.

Especially when it comes to recent bereavement, people shouldn’t expect you to be able to put on a happy face for the sake of Christmas. Instead, those who genuinely care about you may want you to be open and honest about any thoughts and feelings you might have.

When the grief is shared between people, it can also be helpful to others to know how you are feeling, as it might allow them to feel some comfort due to not being alone in their pain. Sharing your tales of the person can also allow you all to learn new facts about the deceased, which could potentially make for an interesting, if not pleasant, experience.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

While some people might want to simply plough ahead with their Christmas, like nothing has changed, covering emotions means that you may not necessarily be working through them effectively. There may be moments where you want to smile at something you remember of your loved one, or even cry because you miss them. Acknowledging how you feel can help you to better process these emotions, as well as inform those around you of how you are truly feeling.

There may come points where you are able to acknowledge that your emotions are getting the better of you. While we all might have low points, especially when dealing with loss, it can be important to recognise the signs of significant struggle. When this is the case, you might want to contemplate speaking to a bereavement charity, or even your usual GP, to see if there is any further support available.

Take a Moment

Although you might want to spend your Christmas with your living loved ones, one way that a number of people manage their loss at this time can be to give some time to the person they have lost.

You may want to share some of your previous Christmas traditions with those whose company you plan to keep this year, to see if they could be included.

On Christmas Day itself, it is understandable to want some time to yourself for your emotions, to speak to your lost loved one, or even light a candle in their honour. All of these can be healthy ways of showing your respect, as well as quietly remembering them.

Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

One of the dangers that can come with grief, as well as a number of other negative mood states, can be increased reliance on toxic means of coping.

During the Christmas holiday, many adults enjoy having a number of alcoholic beverages. From toasts during dinner, to a tipple with pudding, alcohol may be everywhere while you celebrate.

While there is nothing wrong with having a few glasses to drink, it is vital that you make sure that alcohol doesn’t become a crutch for you to lean on. There is a large difference between having a singular drink, and becoming reliant on alcohol to be able to function or manage your moods.

If you notice that alcohol is playing a larger part in your days, you may want to seek support. In relation to Christmas celebrations, it may be difficult to discuss your alcohol misuse with loved ones, however this can allow them to also support you.

For those who have struggled with alcohol usage following grief, it may be a good idea to contemplate an entirely sober Christmas. If your family are willing, having nobody drink any alcoholic beverages, at least while you are present, could be a good option.

Likewise, lashing out at others due to your own pain is also unacceptable. If you do feel yourself getting upset at people, whether due to your loss or not, it could be wise to remove yourself from the situation. Sitting calmly and quietly on your own, even for a few minutes, can help you to regulate yourself, as well as better prepare what you plan to say or do next.

Grief is Normal

Ultimately, grief doesn’t care for the time of year, or celebration being held. The difficult stages after losing a loved one can be overwhelming, even if there is a lot of good in other aspects of your life.

Understanding your emotions, and allowing yourself to feel them, can help you to regain some control over your life.

If those around you are unaware of how much it is affecting you, they won’t be aware of how best they can be helping to support you. For this reason, opening up communication can be incredibly important.

Finally, while Christmas is meant to be a season of joy, you shouldn’t feel pressured into looking happy at all times. Above all else, if you do feel like you aren’t able to cope, it is crucial that you seek medical assistance.